That was a rough one there! Although some of the events started before December, they all came to a head in December. When I tell you that December was one hell of a month, please believe me! I learned a lot and made some really life changing adjustments.
First of all things got wild at work and my hours were crazy. That was rough because I was so tired after work and couldn’t get any of my work done. I felt bad most of the time because my business was starting to show signs of neglect. My kids were doing good for the most part but they are 12, 13, and 15 so…meh. My relationship that seemed to have so much promise earlier in the year reached its breaking point and crashed quickly. I was still attempting to work on writing my novel and meeting my deadlines. If that wasn’t enough, I had an event to plan and organize in the midst of all of this too. I was spent by the middle of the month.
I felt myself drifting off into that familiar yet depressive place. It didn’t take long for me to realize what I was feeling and I snapped out of it. I knew what it was like to be in that place and I knew how hard it was to come out of that. I started doing more things that made me feel like myself again.
I kept reminding myself that Yah is good and I have always had what I need and some. I would just stop in moments and say “Thank You” because I know Yah got me. I started spending more time with my little people, just kicking it. It is so refreshing to see them develop into young adults. They were always deprived of my attention in those depressive moments. It feels good to be present with them. I also decided to spend some more quality time alone. I took myself out on dates just to learn more about me. Most of the time I just go out to eat, because I love food.
Recently I stayed overnight at a local hotel by myself. I took my work with me, got me a few snacks, and relaxed. I was able to reconnect with myself and my work. My drive was restored and I was able to get some quality rest.
Although I’ve been faced with a gamut of obstacles at once before, this time I actually learned how to handle it and bounce back quickly. I added another stream of income as a C R E A M Blends affiliate during all of this craziness and that also gave me a renewed focus. I have always been “strong” but this time I was wise.
December taught me that when you have greater purpose, you may have to be alone to accomplish the goals associated with it. I learned that my energy is precious and must be protected at all cost. I was reminded that I have a mission to change the world and I cannot do that if I am trapped in my dark place.
I gained a whole new respect for space and time. A lot of balloons burst in December but there were also a lot of seeds planted. As the doors close on one thing, a whole new building is being erected for new opportunities. It sucked going through all of it but I am so glad I made it! A new year comes with every new birth. I will close out my year leaving behind the pain of the past and moving towards the success lingering in my future.
With my birthday/New Year approaching I vow not to allow anyone to treat me like I am anything other than amazingly dope.